23.7.11

so i'll try to understand. what i can't hold in my hand.

"sweetly surrendering"



today i felt the accomplishment of coaches
that take teams to the world cup, and own.
i have never been so proud quite honestly.
9am Saturday morning on our homefield off of Bennett Ave
amazing soccer was being played by my girls.
they were stringing passes together,
shielding the ball with their bodies,
incredible footwork,
and playing their little hearts out.
it was hot,
they were sweating.
but the heart and determination put into this game
was phenomenal
and i am determined not to forget it.
this great feeling. of team unity
vision
and it was beautiful soccer.
it was beautiful teamwork
it was beautiful.

this morning was one of those mornings where everything in the world seemed all right. hope was refreshed in my spirit. and truly it was invigorating. all i could do was jump and scream and smile, and tears were falling. moments like these keep you going. not only as a coach for me, but in life.

my team has come so far from day one.
so far.
my current playlist.
on repeat.
forever and ever.
one day - matisyahu
who areyou when i'm not lookin - blake shelton
just a kiss - lady antebellum
you and tequila - kenny chesney
best for last - adele
bottle it up - sara bariellis
sittin' on a dock on the bay - sara bariellis
home - jack johnson
crazy beautifullife - kesha
oh - dave matthews


learning a little
about a lot
in life.

a little self discovery...
things i am learning.

things like i really cannot go a day
without a taco from San Marcos.
&& that i find hispanic culture endearing,
wish i knew the SPANISH better,
and i think i am going to fight for
Siesta time once the school year starts.


things like i like my coffee dark and strong..."like my men" (thanks nichole.)
things like i hope i don't ever get to old to trap fireflies in mason jars
and that i truly enjoy conversations with my profs about the perfect mangoes,
&& picking blueberries and watering the flowers in the morning as the sun is rising,

things like i believe in long mornings
and writing papers last minute,
late nights walking into the morning...

i love country music.
songs about beer, the beach, and small towns
nothing sweeter to my ears.

i believe in the necessity of time for creating
i believe in renewal and god's healing hand.
I believe in choosing to be happy,
and dancing even when there is no music.
&& i love afros.

give exhaustingly.
keep giving.
and keep giving more.
pray like hell.

i have learned living in freedom
is living as a servant.
and there is nothing more beautiful
than seeking God's will.

things like i don't mind when women preach the Word,
and i find refreshment when a paint brush is in my hand.

i have high expectations and i am impatient
and i am far more fragile than i put off.

i have learned you've gotta take care of yourself.
because if you are not looking out for your heart,
no one else will.

God is awesome. he provides.
i believe in miracles.

total praise : $5000 needed but we recieved $50515...amazing.

there is no line.between work and play. and work and life. and play and life. and iwouldn't want it any other way. relational work is messy. it is exhausting. but time with my girls, has been the most valuable time of my entire life. i am learning so much from them. and i truly love every second spent with them. actually i hate going a day without my lil dasha. if i have learned one thing this summer, it is put your heart, all of your heart out there. get emotionally involved. challenge things you feel are not right, let things upset you...and question why? where is it coming from? and fight like hell to make things right. do not settle. challenge things. make mistakes. cry and release feelings you don't understand. i do not regret one second being vulnerable. give people the benefit of the doubt, have grace. and second chances create beautiful opportunities.


final spill of my heart
--> there is something special when someone trusts you to tend their garden.

much love,
a delicate soul.


14.7.11

hp7p2?


welcome to my life.
yes this is the door to our van,
it was jammed and impossible to close
yes indeed we drove around town
for hours on route.



girl why yo hair so nappy?
dear alabama,
thank you for your
wide open skies
bright stars
and the road home.

13.7.11

find the grace in things you can't change.


with this little one.
zah.
my heart is happier.
lifted.
joyful.
and filled.
she makes me laugh,
we cry together.
we question why things are the way they are.
we know there is something better.
we believe in heaven.
we do eachother's hair
and when we get to see eachother
we tackle eachother
with the best hugs.
when i tuck her into bed, and say goodnight
we tell stories of our happiest times,
and our biggest dreams.
she is 6
and has taught me more than many people
of many more years.
i am so thankful
to have this little one
have a piece of my heart.
she has treated it well.
i hope i have done the same for her.

&& i am reminded exactly who i am all over again.