8.10.12

do not forfeit grace.



october 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8

change is good.

some people really struggle with change.
they respond to change
as if if they do not know how to react
as if change is the very thing
that is the tearing of their souls,

but me.
i think i itch for it.

there is this antithesis that
is swept in with the autumn season

that i quietly thrive in.

because in the fall

i crave for the familiar: haunted with nostalgia

but i also am
overwhelmed in the
wonder
and
awe
that surrounds me

and i badly want to create
and restlessly i try to write papers
but deeply desire to be exploring,
to be breathing in the new air
new dreams,
 stirring in my expectant mind

the vibrant colors
and the shedding of the old skin

it is so drastic
extravagant
stunning
compelling
dramatic
it is fascinating
and incredibly aggressive
it is so provoking.

then
quietly
i breathe in
       .
my lungs
chilled,
my eyes wide
&
all is dead

violently
transitioned into a season of
hibernating
and thick socks.

just
experienced
a heap of
beauty
and loss


i'm left cuddled under piles of quilts
and knitted blankets
with my hands clasped tightly around mugs
filled with cider or soup

to reflect
to slow down

no other season can display the
magnitude of change
but
autumn
does just that.

let us not write off the intensity of the season.

why don't we live more in it.
and capture the emotion of it.


"In the Harvest 
feast or
the fallow
ground,
my certain hope is in 
JESUS found.
my lot
my cup
my portion 
sure.
whatever comes
we shall endure."
- sandra.

...dang i must admit i coveted her boots.








each encounter with change 

i find myself dancing with challenge
but when i am pulled in closest,
grabbed at the waist.

i always realize it is wisdom

holding my hand
leading my next step.

i cannot deny 

there are those seasons of change
where  the dance seems more like a fight

but, somehow we stumble right back into step.

and there is growth.




i've never regretted dancing.