trying to break free here. (so bear with me.)
finally i was able to sleep deeply
nor is there anything that can match it in comfort.
nowhere else can i be so unsure of what i do not know,
yet feel so effortless in conversation
it just all comes out.
i like it the the way you move i love the way you rap.
"DIE TO THE IDEA OF ARRIVAL."
i have tons on my mind and tons i want to say. but its all jumbled.
so if you are reading you've been warned..but hang in there!
yesterday was my favorite day of the summer.
&& it was the official first day of the summer season
but well i think that would ruin the beauty of yesterday. but i can leave you with ...
but before yesterday my life was filled with legos, story times, play doh, watercolors, the movie "CARS", hotwheels, blocks, train tracks, crayons, and markers...and it was awesome. but, also so very exhausting. babysitting/nannying full time has also made me never leave the house without the essentials: ziploc bags of cheerios, grapes, and goldfish, sippy cup of milk (with the no spill gaurd of course!), an extra t-shirt, and a waterbottle. i have also learned there is nothing wrong with a good little bribe here and there using caprisuns and popsicles...because hey. it gets the job done. i have also started finding joy in the smallest of moments. like this one... so its like 9:30pm (you can bet after a 3 year old's bedtime) I am chasing a kid around the house while he's naked trying to get him into the shower, after he's already peed all over his bed, and screamed about how much he hates me...the most rewarding thing was reading his bedtime story and he looked at me and said: "Stephanie, I guess we are friends."
i don't even know what that means,
working with the youth this summer has been such a blessing. and on Friday we went and saw Toy Story 3 together in 3D. and seriously. it is my new favorite movie. i laughed and cried, and if you haven't seen it...spend the money. it is so worth it. your heartstrings will be tugged at.
i have been busy writing letters and preparing for the hall as well. i am getting so pumped for the fall. i misss everyone terribly and i can't wait to get to know the freshies who will be joining us. I have been praying that Harambe! becomes a place of sisterhood and Christ's love...and nametags are in the making :]
things i am looking foward to here in the near future:
THIS FRIDAY ITS FOR REAL. i am getting a bicycle.
ONE WEEK - JIMMY BUFFET. oh and kenny. margaritaville. beach. dancing.
14 DAYS AND I WILL BE IN ASHEVILLE. rachel. camping. escape.
38 DAYS until DAVE. west palm beach. hammocks. husband. yes please.
yeah i will admit. i am exploding in excitement. i love the sun. i love not wearing pants. i love the salt. i love the sand. i love music. i love dancing. and boy do i love adventure.
thank you God. for the love you give to me.
- little me.
who can't handle it
so let me think what has been going on in life here lately in podunk cantonment...
i know you'll come for me. and i'll be here on my knees.
it is my new addiction.
" you see the depths of my heart, and
you love me the same. "
if i were to try to capture the essence of Memphis in this blog, i would epically fail.i spent the day we had in Memphis listening. listening to the people
Met a protester,
who has been sitting for 22 years and counting,
would not accept a hug,
or thanks, only
praised God for her voice.
Met a British traveler,
who is on a journey to renew his perspective... on Americans.
was robbed, fascinated by Japaneses culture,
and sang about wine.
Met a poet,
who could not find emotion...
with absolute love for
Jazz. afros. tapas.
i have to peace out.
i really like Tuesdays.
especially Tuesdays where i wake up and
eat chocolate chip pancakes
and there is still salt in my hair from the ocean's embrace
from the day before,
Tuesdays are slower pace days,
where I can run longer,
I don't know why I go to poetry night on Tuesdays,
because for one...poetry is not really my thing.
most times i don't connect,
most times i don't understand the struggle,
but i believe that it is not always good to do what is comfortable.
because sometimes there in the uncomfort,
there is quite delight.
a cup of chai,
in a face,
today is a big day. for i have chosen a World Cup team to follow. It is the Netherlands. GO DUTCH. of course i will still be watching and rooting USA USA! but, you know...as an American watching the World cup since forever, I just know that is the way things go. But, I will say our team looks stronger than teams in the past...players are playing all over the place (Europe), and hey Donavan totally kicked ass on his loan in England...so you know. represent.
even more than the world cup, i love what this girl is teaching me. things about freestyle, and the imagination. the intricacy of a seashell. love. and the simple joys of being a woman.
just as powerful as words can be, they can also be extremely empty.
on my run today i intended to go for three miles, but my legs carried me seven...i like runs like today. it was raining, and humid, and man...it hurt. but it hurts so good. I am finding that i neve regret running, i only regret NOT running. its such a weird love/obsession of mine. i just don't quite get it.
what i would do for a chance to see wilco again right now: [something pretty extreme.]
things i kind of really like right now: flight of the conchords and gardens.
things i don't really like right now: red meat and ignorance.
but as for now I am going to finally watch Fantastic Mr. Fox.
I have been anxiously waiting for this moment for quite a while.
my expectations for this movie are intensly high.
clean up time? hell no.
so how about pictures instead?
[Zahria and Steph's art gallery.]
[mom would KILL me if she knew i got paint on the porch...ooops!]
I don't find it radical that i want to love, would rather love.
and that is me and my final thought of the night.
Things I have been enjoying lately: Romans 8:37-39, alone time, hawaiian sweet bread & cranberry juice, my sewing machine, Exodus, lots of Ryan Adams, swimming, new oreans, grilling out, old friends, black culture, learning, reading, spanish, passion iced tea lemonade, being unemployed, the beach, real simple's "new uses for old things," southern thunderstorms, children's literature, bath and body work's scent disks for your car, running in the rain, belly dancing core workouts, hammocks, harmonicas and violins, the garden...
things that i do not like at the moment: rihanna's song "rude boy", racism, greasy foods, running and having to dodge roadkill, trucks with tires bigger than me, money, lame house parties, sick lovey couples, not owning third season of one tree hill.
i really want to watch fantastic mr. fox,
good news! i have a babysitting job at the end of this week.
even better news, Rachel is coming into town in 2 DAYS! i cannot wait. and looks like i will be going to asheville in july for her birthday....
i am not really in the mood to write. though there is a lot more to be said. i'd rather be sewing or reading.
With lots of love,
me, a wonderer.
"without anyone to love you, what will you blossom into?"
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
today I occupied myself with making flower hair pins and starting to cut and pin material to start making dresses and pillows, and other things of the sort...i know i know, i am trying to not kill you with excitement, or make you too jealous or anything...my lifestyle is just SO overwhelmed in adventure and outrageous endeavors.
this morning my dad woke me up early to run errands and take the car to the shop, and on the way to the auto shop I was following a huge monster truck with a bumper sticker that said "Nightmare on any Street" hahahahaha oh man, only in Cantonment right? events like these make me chuckle, and just wonder "why?!" I just don't understand why people think that sort of thing is ok. and can anyone please explain the next bumper sticker I saw... "John McCain really hit the bullseye with Sarah Palin" WHAT? I don't even know where to start interpreting that one. any takers on trying to tackle that one? well, if it helps the bumper sticker right below it said: "I'M THE NRA." ok, does that make it better?
you know, I have really found enjoyment in writing letters lately.
No, I beat my body and make it my slave so I that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
you are not welcome in our bay.
where will the lovers lay?
i must be home
because there is salt in my hair
sand between my toes,
and my skin is burnt.
The oil spill is supposed to hit sometime this week, so yesterday i went out there and ran on the national seashore for a while. As i was running i became so saddened at the thought of the oil staining our beaches. our powdery white sand turning black, the ocean being slicked by brownish crap. And the thought crossed my mind that in a few days the current could just impose this nasty mess in our direction, and it really made me mad. so after my run i walked along the water for about an hour and i just took it all in. the fishermen, the fat tourists smoking their cigarettes, little girls in their tutu bathing suits, and their mothers chasing them around trying to smack sunscreen on their little cheeks, the old couples, the dolphins, the beautiful greenish mass of ocean, the smell of the salty air...and to think all this could die within the next week.
man is truly is destroying man.
the kind of day where you have great company,
thank you chatty for a great year, thanks for sharing your beautiful mountain with me, and your even more thanks for bringing all these beautiful people together. can't wait to see you in the fall.however, until then. i am quite excited to be getting my hair salty again.
much much love, salmon.
So here I am. Joining the blogging world.
"Say what you mean,
and i'll find away to show you
that I can be grateful."