free my brain. i'm alive in the sun.

note to self: read blue like jazz again

i love beautiful things.

for no reason at all,

just simply,

i love beauty.

and i realized the other day it had been a while

since i took the time to simply admire.

to just appreciate the beautiful things

of my life right now.

since i just danced to danced.

created a boquet.

took a nap in the sun,

went for a discovery walk.

crawled through an underground tunnel.

played in the dirt.

counted the stars

cut out pictures i liked,

dreamed aloud

read a book for pleasure

wrote a short story,

wrote a poem,

changed my opinion about something

mixed paints together with my fingers,

invited change

collected fallen leaves.

and i think these are the things that make you the most alive.

(i like those words a lot)

i don't live in reality.

that is what i am finding.

the areas of my life that reflect that ...

well mainly my financial one.

oh and the one involving time.

yeah i am always late,

always over drafting.

you could ask me if i could drive to

arkansas in one day or less,

and i would say yes.

easily a day trip.

the world is much closer together in my reality.

i don't use a brush

i don't need sleep

i'd rather buy art and tat up than eat.

counseling i think makes me more crazy

i live in an emotional world,

i jump for joy in my extreme highs,

and mourn and hurt in my lows.

"steph, maybe this hurt, torn, really huge disappointed feeling - this experience of loss, is one of growth. forcing limits." - a person i highly admire.

this photo made my heart sing

how tender a moment

a mom and her little boy.

[i want 5 boys.]

this is my newmantra.

to live in the now.

to not expect anything from the day,

and to just be.

rawr.

lions

i am all about lions these days.

i

time for some rest.

oh and some dance.

last thought

i really do not know how

to let people care

for me

peace yall.

new girl

this show makes me laugh out loud,

even when i am by myself in my top bunk.

plans for my night:

knitting my chunky scarf

watch many episodes of new girl

eat sin in a tin

write love notes.

goodnight.

mini skirts, maxi skirts, an afro hairdo

today reminds me of

eggo waffles, a good book,

and my best friends

what would you do if i showed up on your door step, ready to go?

another rainy day in the chatt - town.

i am just going to spend the day by myself.

cozied up with another cup of coffee,

reading for class,

creating a new playlist for autumn,

in a corner of a new comfy coffee shop.

&& life is trulygrand.

i am finding it more and more

important to write it all down.

even little mornings like this one,

because we are only getting older.

we will never feel like we feel today

in this moment.

pact:

"i will always

embrace my

youth"

things that i really really like today: afros, lions, fireplaces, yarn, chunky knit sweaters, jeggings, fuzzy boots, watching friends in the morning with the roomies, hiking with my boy, the changing leaves, butternut squash soup, journaling, blankets, long mornings in my pjs.

how i define healing:

when the soul is free to shine.

when the heart is sound.

the mind is able to dream

wildly again.

when the salty air and the ocean

have carried my worries away with the tide.

wholeness of the spirit.

renewal.

lightness of the soul.

freedom.

dancing.

confession: SOMETIMES DURING SERMONS,

I DRAW ROCKET - SHIPS && DOODLE OF THE STARS

oops!

let us listen together.

polite dance song - the bird and the bee

electric feel - mgmt

home - edward sharpe and the magnetics

if she wants me - belle and sebastian

keep your head up - andy grammer

rich girl - hall and dates

funky nassua (cover) - the beginning of the end

with you remix - chris brown

grey street - dave

blue in the sky - joe purdy

only living boy in new york - simon & garfunkel

easy (cover) - faith no more

you make me feel - cobra starship

will you show me paris in the morning?

much love,

steph

"may you always walk in the sunshine,

and may you never want for more"

- irish blessing.

oh to be an indian princess again.

amen.

i just came to say, hello!

I think i shall...

i looked around, and saw beauty all around me.

this morning we woke up with the sunrise,

the beach proposed to me and sarah...

we were greeted with seashells and roses on the shoreline.

azul skies and dancing birds.

rawr!

my heart's happy song right now: "Hello!" by Dragonette.

good morning sunshine.

so i went home early for fall break on counselor's orders.

i am just really, really tired. and my heart is incredibly heavy.

i did not even know it

but, this is exactly what my heart needed.

camping on the beach, a perfect remedy for a worn out soul.

dance.

dance. dance.

dance. dance. dance.

release.

dance. dance. dance.

dance. dance.

dance.

this week there are no expectations.

there is a grand freedom

in my soul because of this.

we can eat bagelheads

rent movies

go to the beach

sneak into deluna fest

cheer at a Tate's football game

go to the fair

eat seafood

read a book

take long afternoon naps

mid morning showers

road trip to new orleans

daydream

cannonball into the pool

hammock

who knows where we are headed,

thank you Jesus for your grace and your healing.

thank you for surrounding me with love and joy.

this week is about

celebrating. basking in the sun. dancing in the ocean. eating too much dessert.

mucho amor,

stephanie

ps! i have no tumor in my brain :]

& know my heart is a stereo that only plays for you

good morning tuesday.

i overslept.

but it's ok.

my morning class got cancelled.

late night

front porch sitting

listening to the

pouring rain

eating mint oreos,

cozied under my

comfy comfy quilt,

with you right next to me.

how perfect.

less than a week.

this too shall pass

a new season!

one all about cinnamon, pumpkins, apple orchards, blankets, hot chocolate, bon fires, cozying up, leggings, ear muffs, mittens, hikes, movies, knitting, used book stores, coffee, sweaters,

"who do you think you are,

trying to change this situation?"

this season of life is all about boldness.

it is believing in the impossible.

and acting in the impossible.

and the risk of relationship

getting my hands dirty.

and loving radically.

"you bring me

gently to my knees

&& I am

lost for words

so lost in love

sweetly broken,

wholly surrendered."

i think it is great how God cares so deeply for us,that he seeks intimacy from us by meeting us where we are most broken, torn, and tattered. He swoops up our hearts, and shows us more love than we could ever even imagine or even dream of. Graciously God provides. he is faithfully and steadfastly pursuing our hearts. a truth i keep close to my heart. My God, loves me.

things in life right now that kind of suck:

well i may have a tumor in my brain.

doctor's offices. IVs. bloodwork. midterms.

papers. lack of sleep. all nighters.

but it is ok! I have proof of the sun still shining...

new york...NEXT WEEK! smash group. Urban Young Life (UYL)!

the mission chatt! my roomies are pure love.

long saturdays in my PJs. my man takes care of me well.

sunday afternoons at the market. study break dance parties.

Jesus is so good! african beads. tea. the fall.

long naps on big boulders. la montana. angie, my spiritual momma :]

i believe in stopping to listen to stories.

&& really really really good thai!

thank you big momma!

SMASH.

long saturdays

in my pjs. puff pastries and fresh, over priced strawberries, and agave nectar yum!

"stephanie, do you only work for me when it is easy?"

lavish adoration.

what does that look like?

that is my mission this week,

to seek this out with my whole heart.

just some humble words from a woman i admire...

"Stephanie do not apologize.

a messy car? well it just means

you have a life of much better priorities"

hello texas.

Take courage, when the road gets long. don't ever forget you. you are never alone.

rejoice! your story is not done being written...

halloween!