grasping the enormity of it all.

it's winter break.

everything in my life right now is screaming:

read! write! listen! publish!

but my task right now...

is to just write,

write down everything.

write about the sea,

what i see.

how i feel,

what people say

how i react,

what i am dreaming,

feelings of failure,

accomplishments

big

small

why.

write it all

because she simply cannot be

accept the world around her

her form of wrestling

is the pen.

break has just begun,

yet it will be over before i have fully rested,

and it seems inevitable...

i won't get everything i would have hoped to get done,

done.

it happens that way.

funny the way it is.

there will still be refreshment.

maybe even more than i could ever ask for.

"the learning curve's steep - you learn quick"

i feel like this past year. 2011 has been one of those crucial years in my life.

i am starting to process all that is happening. all that has happened. the growth.

the things i can't change, but wish could have happened differently.

things i am grateful for. the pains. the laughs. the hardships.

things i survived. the friendships that withstood during hell.

how i let go, but God held on. the year could be defined as RAW.

a year of sickness. one of brutally honesty, a messy year.

but i feel this year God used as one hell of a lesson,

for what? i can only trust God that it is being used to further his Kingdom.

i am a student of mistakes

i try

i fail

i try

again

i like to embrace

what is going on around me

i like to try everything

take what i like

leave what i don't

a collection of experiences

that is all.

little moments of the morning.

i was reading an old journal a quote i stumbled upon said: "when was the last time you did something for the first time?" how fitting for the new year. i think i am going to try to journal each day...at least one thing i did that day i had never done before. whether it be something extreme like skydiving, or a more subtle shift in perspective...i hope it will help me be more committed to writing.

3 days until Will gets to Florida :]

boy you look good ;]

what a punk.