"i love it when you call me big POPPA"

"we are called upon to become CREATORS.

to make the world new,

&& in that sense

to bring something into being which was not there before."

- John BOodin

let's just get this numbness out. so studying is turning to be a complete fail this weekend. i could not get myself to do anything after i wrote a paper on an interview with a farmer...yeah i wrote a paper on a friday night. that was a first. i have never done such a thing. plenty of studying. reading. but never cranked out a paper...on a friday night! but it was quite frustrating knowing i had two more to crank out by tuesday. both which are nothing but lofty ideas right now. now being midnight sunday. shucks. i am in a pickle. but i can't get myself to write. to focus. STEPH finals are around the corner. you have 3 days of class left, one quiz, a self study, and a reflection paper... YOU CAN DO IT.

i am nostalgic.

so lost in memories.

and warm places.

and my heart is yearning for something familiar.

&& my mind is wandering

so far from

where it NEEDS

to be right now.

so i must embrace it. and write.

the words i liked hearing today:

companion

honesty

healing

listen

monster

truth

"flairies"

our message in church today was delivered by someone God has placed in my life recently and has quickly climbed into my soul and became somewhat of my hero. someone i work with. his name is Chris Woodhull. he is truly a heart friend. he is my mentor. he challenges me, and enjoys jazz, slam poetry, and has a heart for young people. he is a fighter. has taught me in so little time how to give myself voice. and has a way of empowering people. i am glad he moved to chattanooga. i am happy God made work for us to grapple with together. i am glad he has made us family. and God sure knows family does not always mean pretty and clean cut. thats what i like about Chris too. he is raw. and real. and blunt. and pushes buttons.

i am not good at summarizing things. but his talk i was able to connect with, in a time i haven't been able to talk to God in weeks. we read out of Luke, the story of the Annunciation. You know the story - even if you are not a Christian. When Mary is encountered by Gabriel and is told she is going to give birth to Christ. it is divine really. a true moment of glory. and so many times we have heard this story. so easy to overlook. so easy to remember, yet so easily forgotten. we are numb to the divine. we are so numb to the beauty of this moment. we are numb to the purity. we are numb to this story of transcendence. this sermon was a break through.

"interact with the divine"

what a challenge.

ramblings of the soul:

i wish i could express myself through music

and dance. i wish more than anything i could be a ballerina

i hope you know i could not go on without you.